Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
