Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
