yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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