i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
