the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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