It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
BRING THE BAGELS
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
