she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
