So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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