lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
