I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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