what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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