Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(563): View more from Iowa

How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

(1-563): View more from Iowa

The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just so you know, I have a bf.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'

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