So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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