My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
