That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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