And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
