i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
