Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
