I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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