I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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