he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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