Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
