I think I am morally bankrupt
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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