$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize