Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
