New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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