Pregnant stripper...not hot.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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