woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
