So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
