I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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