We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
