why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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