Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
