"it" just moved
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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