oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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