Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
