Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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