Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
