i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
