HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
