I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
