Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
