I'm jealous of your bromance
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
