He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
