Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
