he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
