Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
