I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize