Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just tell him i said nine months
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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