His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
