I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
