She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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