never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
