Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
