ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
