we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
