? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
