I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
