True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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