just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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