It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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