how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think my moral compass just broke
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize