woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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