I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
