please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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