Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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