it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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