It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
