Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
