I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
