i would punch a child for taco bell
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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