You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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